Tranquillity Switch--Find Yours

I have a friend who told me to flip the switch in my mind, ‘just a little to the right of one o’clock’, and therein I would find the tranquillity I sought. Sounded crazy at the time—but that statement was one of the most profound statements anyone ever shared with me.


I like finding a ‘switch’ inside myself that takes me from an agitated state, into one of tranquillity. Something I feel we should all learn to find inside ourselves.

Sometimes I find mine, and sometimes I forget to look, sometimes I think I actually enjoy being agitated and that it acts just like washing the clothes, stirring me up so I can let all the dirt out. But, the truth is, there is enough dirt to last on this planet, what is truly rare is ‘ourselves’ in a state of tranquillity, self induced, and not with the help of pharmaceuticals.

And yet, there are those who become addicted to tranquillity, too, and I can’t say as I blame them, but it does become a bit much when the mother says to the little boy reporting that the house is on fire, ‘let it be’, I mean that’s one extreme way to annihilate all the house work.

Tranquillity, the absence of agitation of any kind, can be had, with the flip of a switch somewhere in the mind. But, it took me years to find mine. For many years I could feel myself go into a state of tranquillity every now and then without knowing what I had done. The first time I recall was in maths class when I was about twelve, so relaxed did I become from taking my mind somewhere else that I fell out of my chair. I can remember other children doing the same.   Self induced states of tranquillity to avoid the pain of a boring subject, or teacher talking in monotone, but to find that switch self consciously as an adult takes a lot of work, that’s why they have seminars on it and charge you lots of money.

I spent a small fortune seeking tranquillity once upon a time, and I am here to tell you, I didn’t have to except that like most people looking for something without the effort it takes to find it, I gave money to people who promised to help me. They did help relieve me of the agitation of how to spend my money.  No one else can help you find your own tranquillity switch, it takes one person sifting through the rubble of one’s own mind because all the switches are in different places inside every individual, ain’t it just like an angry god to do that?! Hide the tranquillity switches, quick...people all need to be agitated enough to put fires out, providing they discover fire, too, and they did, man did they.

Now, I am sure you were hoping I might be able to tell you how to do it, because I claim to have found mine, but the truth is, mine goes missing, too, and ‘a little to the right of one o’clock’ can become a different position depending on where you live on this planet, and if you are currently standing on your head or lying down, and of course what time zone you be in. Daylight savings can play havoc on locating a tranquillity switch, I promise.

The only thing I can tell you for sure is that if I have one, you probably do, too, or perhaps, like the difference between sexes, one seeking itself out of fear of the other’s more powerful one, hahaha, if you believe that, I have some swamp land I will sell you eventually, good night Freud, you were a smart man, but....

PS...Brother John just informed me that his tranquillity switch is in his little toe, so whenever it bothers him, he just hits it with a hammer and the tranquillity switch is turned on...and if that doesn’t work he takes a pair of channel locks and pinches his earlobe and everything comes ' a little right of one o’clock'.

PSS...I am not going to tell you what he does with his trowel!!!!

Finally, Tranquillity

Finally, Tranquillity...it’s been ten weeks coming according to Ben Franklin’s self improvement program, that I gladly adopted to experiment with and with a few reservations I am happy to have done it, but wow, do you find tranquillity a much needed respite after digging around for a week at a time looking for temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, sincerity, justice, moderation and cleanliness inside or surrounding one’s self. Phew! A hiatus is much needed....


And since tranquillity is just a subjective word that means so many different things to so many different ‘others’ that I am aware of out there every where deciding, just like I am, what does this mean? It means exactly what we each decide for it to and not one thing else.

Which reminds me of what happened to our friend Ben Franklin when sharing this whole process he had for perfecting himself, by himself, for himself...and, the original twelve virtues that he practised for years before an Amish friend chastised him for not having Humility listed as one of his virtues, and of course his good friend reminded him that that was one virtue sadly lacking in our friend Ben.

Well, from my way of thinking, after putting this process into play into my own life, I can say that humility is the one constant stance of anyone undergoing the discovery of these virtues as a reflection to one’s self...the whole process is a humbling one, and therefore, I object to the addition and find it placed there by a force outside the process who never tried it before trying to perfect it. So typical of progress, aye?

Next week will be Chastity and was originally the twelfth and final virtue before returning to do them all over again in a mathematical sequence that balanced out the year perfectly for moral improvement for one’s self...and, though I have it on my morality board as the final addition, I have checks by it for every other virtue I have attempted since starting this whole maddeningly self revealing process...I am a humble mess. I am nothing, as well as knowing nothing for sure which makes me rather enlightened by the standards of nothingness, which I am.

I have to laugh, as my board sits out in plain sight for all to see what I am up to (and is supplied on my blog for the world to peruse) ...and, I have discovered along the way that a few people I know are following along and doing the same. My daughter walked by yesterday and blatantly said, “Don’t think I am doing chastity with you!” and I had to laugh and explain that Ben’s idea of chastity was not abstinence of sexual gratification, but the use of it ‘for health’ and ‘offspring (like herself) and never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation’...she got a big smile and said ‘I like that man’.

Yes, I too, have always liked Ben Franklin, even if he didn’t do his own dishes. I wish I could discuss with him what he thought was tranquil in juxtaposition of what I find tranquil to be. For me, it is at this moment, just a feeling of not worrying about one ‘other’ thing, being in the moment of which I am without feeling the need to be anywhere else, do anything else or become anything more than I am at this moment. In theory, I am tranquil at the moment, as for me, writing is the most tranquil of places and spaces wherein I get to decide everything, the beginning, the middle, the end.

Cleanliness

I usually post the virtue of the week on Monday, Tuesday at the latest, but since this week has been Cleanliness, and I have quite literally been cleaning everything needed to be cleaned since the first earthquake on September 4th, 2010 wherein we were in the middle of a major move of house, and well, as one might comprehend, nothing has been done since then. Except of course to clean up the primary mess of the February 22nd, 2011 earthquake to keep from walking across shards of glass and pottery, it is Friday now, and still, there is much to clean, but there sure as hell is a big dent in it, thanks to Brother John.


When in a cleaning dilemma, it sure helps to bring in someone fresh to the space, they see through the lens of someone who just sees a mess, not the despair that made it happen. We tackled the garage, or ‘girge’ according to Brother John imitating a Kiwi accent. Brother John has been lost in translation of late, when a ‘skip’ is supplied for ‘dumpster’ and a ‘prawn’ for ‘shrimp’, but Brother John will agree we have been feeding him well, as we throw out what we finally need to throw out in the pursuit of Cleanliness.

Meanwhile, we have been building too, utilizing the many bricks plopped on the side of the road from fallen chimneys, walls, and buildings whose demolition might not have been complete by natural disasters, now bull-dozed without contemplation from many angles, just a ‘bring her down’ attitude that prevails in an unequally ruled world. We still live in a police state here, but as of yet, we can recycle bricks until they discover we have been building something without their permission. So, what are we building?

An outdoor kitchen, with a fireplace, that isn’t allowed either if there are solid walls, but actually acceptable if there are none, and there is no fire ban on. Go figure, there are always loopholes for a lady with an urge for fire, being a ‘fire starter’ is something of a natural lineage that runs deep within me, some primordial urge, grown more urgent when a person feels safer outside than inside a building, like we do in the earthquake territory we now know we have chosen to live in unawares. It’s important to stand beside a fire every once in awhile and contemplate what’s the next move. Especially, when you are done with the Cleanliness routine, not to be mean, but just wondering if Ben Franklin ever cleaned his own dishes?

This Week's Virtue is Silence...

And no, that does not mean you will not hear from me.  What it means is that I will concentrate on saying only those things that may benefit others or myself; avoiding trifling conversation.  Albeit 'trifling' is completely subjective, my subjects will be what I deem to be most worthy of what needs be said out loud.

I will have to think as consciously as I can before I speak and write ever more carefully.  Judging from my own calculation of how well I did with temperance last week, this week will feel like a year I am sure.

My morality board is paying off though.  I have avoided six candy bars, a pack of cigarettes, abstained totally from drinking ever again (as one glass of wine at the cricket match left me sick for two days) and my pants are loser providing an easier leg lift onto the kitchen bench to stretch out my fingers toward the freezer.

Silence...perhaps I shall negotiate today as my one day to not speak at all...a Gandhi holiday, to which, I am certain we could all benefit from, if only we all chose the same day.  And since this is merely a fantasy to consider, I shall leave now and challenge myself to the reality of how silence can really improve my life and those who surround me and consider what topics are worthy of discussion always.

The Painting of Ben's Virtues

It was on the hottest day I have ever experienced since moving to New Zealand eight years ago.  One of those days that found my friend and I huddled out back of my house in the only pure shade we could find.  My friend was painting her beautiful Maori/Pakeha soul onto a long piece of hardy board left over from lining the inside of my fence, while I had been painting my displaced immigrant soul on a matching panel.  Ben's virtues of temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity and humility were bouncing around in my head.

Panting from the heat I looked at my panel  titled "Underwater Cactus" and realized it was too hot to paint a watery scene, the paint was drying on impact and the affect I was seeking was rather slippery, so I grabbed a new panel and laid it down on the ground, standing over it and inscribed Ben's virtues onto it as fast as I could and decided to call it my "Morality Board".

My beautiful friend looked up from her passionate pallette and commented,
Oh, I like that, it looks like it is written in blood.
How affectionate I am for my friend that always seems to know exactly what I am after.

For three days now I have been contemplating daily the first attribute of Temperance:  Eat not to dullness, drink not to elevation.  I have four more days to go and find myself sweating blood at what new finds I will see as I discover my own unconscious embedded intemperances.  They are not just food and drink, though food has always been a problem for me until I first came to New Zealand and began a regime of eating like a Kiwi instead of a Midwestern American.  I thought I was going to starve for the first month and I can remember my children looking at their plates like I was joking.  But, I had a new man (now my husband) in my life and I was trying to take on his practises.  I lost twenty pounds in no time!

But, the real weighty issues are the intemperances I find inside myself, not just on a hot day, but every day, that have been building for many years simply because I did not have my "Morality Board" written in what looks like blood to remind me.  In three days I found enough intemperate reactions to life inside myself to know that not only will this be a long year, but there are many years to come which all need my continuing checks and balances that my friend Ben has selected for me, which I wholeheartedly agree, is a good enough way to remind me how unconscious I have been and always will be.

So, on the flip side of my "Morality Board", I have decided to paint it black (and yes, you may think of the song here)...and, write in chalk the things I know I need to watch out for on a day to day basis that can be added to and erased more easily than writing them in blood.