The Painting of Ben's Virtues

It was on the hottest day I have ever experienced since moving to New Zealand eight years ago.  One of those days that found my friend and I huddled out back of my house in the only pure shade we could find.  My friend was painting her beautiful Maori/Pakeha soul onto a long piece of hardy board left over from lining the inside of my fence, while I had been painting my displaced immigrant soul on a matching panel.  Ben's virtues of temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity and humility were bouncing around in my head.

Panting from the heat I looked at my panel  titled "Underwater Cactus" and realized it was too hot to paint a watery scene, the paint was drying on impact and the affect I was seeking was rather slippery, so I grabbed a new panel and laid it down on the ground, standing over it and inscribed Ben's virtues onto it as fast as I could and decided to call it my "Morality Board".

My beautiful friend looked up from her passionate pallette and commented,
Oh, I like that, it looks like it is written in blood.
How affectionate I am for my friend that always seems to know exactly what I am after.

For three days now I have been contemplating daily the first attribute of Temperance:  Eat not to dullness, drink not to elevation.  I have four more days to go and find myself sweating blood at what new finds I will see as I discover my own unconscious embedded intemperances.  They are not just food and drink, though food has always been a problem for me until I first came to New Zealand and began a regime of eating like a Kiwi instead of a Midwestern American.  I thought I was going to starve for the first month and I can remember my children looking at their plates like I was joking.  But, I had a new man (now my husband) in my life and I was trying to take on his practises.  I lost twenty pounds in no time!

But, the real weighty issues are the intemperances I find inside myself, not just on a hot day, but every day, that have been building for many years simply because I did not have my "Morality Board" written in what looks like blood to remind me.  In three days I found enough intemperate reactions to life inside myself to know that not only will this be a long year, but there are many years to come which all need my continuing checks and balances that my friend Ben has selected for me, which I wholeheartedly agree, is a good enough way to remind me how unconscious I have been and always will be.

So, on the flip side of my "Morality Board", I have decided to paint it black (and yes, you may think of the song here)...and, write in chalk the things I know I need to watch out for on a day to day basis that can be added to and erased more easily than writing them in blood.