Onyx Oden is seven and a half months here...and, he has just come to stay with me these past few days...he is such a reminder of the 'mommy memory' that resides in me...the remembrance that another life is as important as my own...just as, no exceptions...the bond that changes how I stand, the looks that cross our faces, the grace of such easy smiles...unrestricted by no history...a true beginning every moment in every way...watching the tub lose its water in a swirl...marveling together at the sight, and the gurgle...breaks us both into happy smiles for there is no fear lodged in Onyx's, or my heart...not yet...not no how...I be the Queen, he be the King at my breast, lying firmly together with visions of ice blocks and wooden spoons to chew on, breaking in new teeth without too much stress...just a continuous run for fresh objects to insert in our mouths. I love every inch of him...and he loves me, naturally...
It's been a long time since I saw the look that a child gives a mother, and a mother who is now a grandmother gives back...the look that says, "You are the best thing I've seen in such a long time"...it works wonders on the tired heart of a mother scorned for this and that...
I am so thankful for the time I have been given by my daughter, Destiny, to nuzzle her son, same as my own...in a grand way. I remember telling my children when they were young that we must never live without children in our lives...I remember now that my youngest is seventeen years old...that I forgot that along the way...but, remembered immediately when Onyx became my charge...just me as a mother fill-in, a grandmother at large...
We laughed, we played...we sang and gurgled...we jumped and swung and strolled with courage...we nibbled and nawed...we cooed and awed at one another, all day, today and yesterday...I am in love...there is hope for this heart that was missing a part...the part of the child in myself that needed somewhere to say:
This is what it is all about. Loving a child, and the child in me survives today.
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